Ahh...The Run

Oh man! It has been a while! I haven't talked to ya'll since the race...

Well, I set a 5k PR (21:47) and placed third in my age/sex category. (I feel the need to say that I would have been first in the 30-34, which I turned four days later!) Then...I took a break. A week, in fact. Didn't run at all. Barely walked. And, I allowed myself to eat peanut M&Ms for nutrition!!

Tonight, I got it back. I ran. And ran. I started off with a jog, then picked up the tempo, then started sprinting...took it back down to a jog and started all over again. And it felt good. My body was ready. My muscles were healed. My mind was fresh. And my feet were swift. I looked at my surroundings and thought about the beauty in nature and how running allows me to be a part of that for just that moment. It is very freeing.

Sometimes running became a task to take care of before starting my day and, methodically, I would get up and run. Tonight's run was empowering. My mind and body naturally picked up where they left off. I have run for almost three years now. It is amazing to look back at the different phases of my running and see where my mind was at the time. When I first started, it was to lose weight. Then it became a way to relieve stress. Then I started entering races to cross the finish line. Then I started racing. Then I wanted to run long distance. Now I just want to run.

I cannot say I am the fastest runner but I can say that I am probably one of the more passionate ones. I enjoyed my break (and the M&Ms)...but I love being back!

Another Hallelujah

I find myself time and time again straying from my Sustainer. I find myself time and time again putting aside the Jealous Lover of my Soul. I find myself time and time again believing the enemy's lies. And I find myself time and time falling back in love with my Father.

There is a Presence ever before me and He leads me here and He leads me there. He removes all things I put before Him. His Love is perfect and His discipline is fair. He is Trustworthy and Faithful...even when I am not. He never lets me go...even when I fight. He sustains me...even when I fall.

Some people over-intellectualize God and think they've figured Him out. Some people study the Word and think they are a scholar. Some people try to follow rules and think they are innocent. But some people never come to realize that all God wants is submission. Now in our society, submission is a weakness. Women fight to be in charge of their homes and even the church. Men fight among themselves over the laws of the church who is right or wrong. Submission is a sign of strength and maturity. When men and women submit to God, they find exactly what they have been looking for...Joy. (And, for all of those that require rewards for duties, you will find the vast richness of God's blessings.)

Focus and Strength

I have a 5k race next Saturday so I did not have to run a "long" run this morning, only 9 quick miles. I was very relieved that I did not have to churn out 22 miles this weekend. I ate a piece of peanut butter toast, chugged a little water, threw on my shoes and began to run. Ahh, the peace. The solitude. And...the PAIN! What is happening? Why am I not coasting along? Why is my breathing so heavy? My core did not recognize the speed and my feet were a little confused. It was hard for my body to remember how to run fast after training for endurance so long. One thing that was a relief was that I didn't have to worry about sugar shots, water overhauls and survival pacing...but there was more...

I had a stressful day at work on Friday and I needed to clear my head. This is, in fact, what was wrong...my mental gun never went off. I was too worried about the stresses of life that I forgot to focus. After my second mile I decided that if I didn't focus I would just quit. (The "Q" word is equivalent to a cuss word in my racer's mind so that was really not an option after all.) I lifted up on my toes and quickly reminded my feet what a sub-eight-minute mile felt like. I blew off all other thoughts and enjoyed the rest of my run. To help my ever wandering mind, I took some time to jot down my running schedule for the remainder of the week...

Sunday- 7 miles
Monday- 6 miles and weights
Tuesday- 5 miles and kickboxing (Nice substitute from a routine ab workout)
Wednesday- 4 miles and weights
Thursday- 3 miles with speed work
Friday- REST
Saturday- Ardmore 5k

I have no intentions of racing the other 5k competitors. I would like to break my PR for a 5k but will also accept an injury-free finish coupled with a painless 22-miler on Sunday. I have discovered that when I forget about the other people that show their face at the start line, I can focus easier. Are the other sports-bra baring ladies intimidating at first? Sure...but I don't have to take any of them home and mentor them on a job well-done...only me.

So I think me and my shoes will show up alone and do what we do best...run.

Post Race Interview

Some Post-Race thoughts...

I enjoyed running the 30k at Salem Lake. The scenery was beautiful and the trail was fair. There were uphills and downhills and several inclines of death. The weather was yucky but cold rain is always better than blazing heat. My pre-race prep (meal and routine) was the same that I had practiced dozens of times throughout my training but it was not sufficient for this race, which I will discuss later.

I am a little agitated at the fact that I lost steam at mile 14 and was not able to speed up on the last 4.6 miles. I did maintain a steady pace and would not allow myself to drop but it could have been better. No negative split, no positive split...just a neutral split. (Runners like negative splits. It is a psychological thing.) I plan to fuel differently for future races over half marathon distance. I saw several runners sucking down sugar after mid-range and it seemed to help their stamina. When I say I lost steam at mile 14, I mean I lost all nutrition. My stomach lining was rubbing together, my head was spinning, my legs were cramping and a throw up ball was stuck in my throat. I felt completely nauseated and Gatorade was not helping. I did not have my normal problem of needing to pee mid-race so I was happy about that and believe me, I was using all the liquid I put in my body.

My dad and son stood at mile 15 to cheer me on and that helped. (Ben felt the need to remind me how FAR back I was from the front...thanks son!) I had one girl/lady/runner pass me after mile 15 but she so deserved a closer spot...she was shouting hallelujah and all I could do was grunt a little.

I went out strong and finished at the same pace. My feet hurt like crazy and my body will not hold down food. My mind is racing with several "should haves/what ifs" and I can't seem to shake the feeling that I did not do my personal best but I finished and I beat my goal. We always criticise ourselves harder than anyone else and that is exactly what I am doing. Am I happy with my time of 2:31 and some change? Darn skippy! Am I proud of the group I ran with and how we all encouraged each other to keep pushing? Beautiful! Am I proud of myself for doing what one year ago was impossible? Yes! Is it awesome to see your kids in shirts that say "RunningFever" when you cross the finish line? Absolutely! Am I thankful that God has allowed me to experience this beautiful journey in running? Priceless!

Most people find no joy in mud splattered legs, drenched socks, dripping wet hair, sweat stained eyes...I see things differently. My mother sees no point in running unless you are being chased by a dog...I see things differently. I love the quickness, the strength, the sweat, the sounds, the breathing, the sights and the constant mind-games but, most of all, I like the finish.

Mid-week post? Had to.

I continually fight with my schedule to allow me time to run at the distances I need to prepare for long distance races. I typically wake up at 5am just to run. I don't like interrupting the family schedule at night so I make this sacrifice...happily. When I read about other runners enjoying far greater mileage per week or see them mid-run, it makes me want to put on my running shoes and head out the door. I am very competitive and I cannot shake my desire to out do others; however...

I was reminded every so gently tonight that my true heart's desire is to nurture and grow my three children. Kids grow fast and, if you blink, you might miss something. If I was out running tonight, I would have missed my five year old cheer for the dancers on "So You Think You Can Dance?" (and give them advice on how they could improve their performance). Or I would have missed my three year old's new hula dance and my ten year old's debate that his math worksheet was wrong and there was no possible right answer!

See, although running is a passion, it cannot be my life. So...if you are out running or lifting weights or stretching or sprinting...enjoy. I'm gonna sit this one out and enjoy the view.

Final Round

Last long run. Bittersweet...mostly sweet.

Yesterday I ran 19 miles in preparation for my upcoming race. I decided to exceed the race length by a few tenths of a mile partly by choice but mostly by design. (I did try to wiggle my nose and get back home right at 18.6 but it didn't work.) I decided to pace my race time and get back in 2:40. My actual time was 2:42:37 but I forgave myself the extra 2:37 due to overage in mileage...so I was pleased with my effort.

My body went through clear stages on this run. At first, the pace felt good and the air was brisk. I turned on some tunes and got in my groove. I decided to hold off on my water bottle until mile eight in hopes of remedying previously mentioned issues. I felt good and then I started doubting myself on mile ten. Since I started with a steady pace, my legs were getting tired, my feet were starting to ache and I knew I had nine more miles to go. I decided to focus and slow my breathing to relax in my run. I pushed through the next three miles and then something beautiful happened...my "second wind." At this point, I had five miles to go and I knew my legs weren't going to fall off so I picked up speed. My next two miles were steady and the following two were painful. I could hear my feet hitting the pavement and my breathe was so deep it echoed in my head. My eyes started squinting and my sweat turned to salt. I felt my body drying out. The last mile was completely up hill, something I dreaded from the time I mapped my route but it turned out to be a confidence builder and my legs proved faithful. I remember reading an article one time that said, "Every time you come to a hill, think 'I love hills!'" (This is one of those annoying things that stick in your head and you actually find yourself repeating it!)

As soon as I finished, I jumped in a cold shower and smiled. Another beautiful run.

As for the stage my body is currently in...sore, painful, stiff and ready to do it all again.

Flowing River

I tried something new this past week. I took three days off of running in one week. I also decided to split my long run into two ten-milers. I was able to complete my first one this morning with an improved time of 1:13. I plan to do my second one tomorrow evening with a group of runners from the local running club. I only run in groups during races but thought this would be a good change of pace to start the week.

I am signed up for the Salem Lake 30k, which is in two weeks and I am starting to get nervous, to say the least. I wanted to refresh my legs and give myself some time to think about my goals for this race. Ultimately, it is to finish. I would also like to finish under 2:40. My long runs have gotten easier and I feel more confident in my speed but I am still struggling with the water intake and the need to release this fluid during my run. I am also a little worried about the fact that it is a trail race and I train mostly on roads. I may take a hit at the course next Sunday but we will see.

One thing I wasn't expecting this week is some untimely stress and how it effected my running schedule. Life has a way of kicking you down at just the right moment and you have to chose what to do...

When it gets hard, can you fight?
When it seems impossible, can you find a way?
When it hurts, can you find strength?
When it isn't popular, can you be real?
When no one is looking, can you act with integrity?
And, when it comes down to it, can you be who you were created to be?

I can and I will.